The Last Cocktail
One for the road. (Warning: SATIRE)
It's cold outside. I know that.
It's difficult times for you.
It's easy to solve problems by sacking people.
My consultants told me to sack 5500 of you.
It doesn't matter how good or important you are.
Only numbers count. And crocodile tears.
We also have to reorganise.
I have to pretend to be doing something.
I'm the boss, after all.
There is nothing like a reshuffle to redistribute management jobs.
I don't like it when managers fight over jobs.
You must all work together and love each other.
I like it when you do that.
Then you don't hate me for being so incompetent.
And you don't complain about incompetent management, too.
That's the right culture. That's how to work together.
That's how I win and you lose.
A winning strategy is when I can cash in and drink lots of cocktails in my pool.
Cost less and work more.
The performance program is there to chuck you out.
That's what performance is all about..
It's still cold outside.
Now it's raining. I see that.
It's cold and rains elsewhere, too.
It's a great opportunity to show that we can walk on water.
When we win we show that we are able to win.
We'll fight the good fight and you will get your just rewards: Redundancy pay.
And I'll go back to drinking my cocktails at the pool.